AEC- I Decide

The Choices You Make Today, will DECIDE Your Tomorrow!

The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
Volume No. 6                         Issue 17                        Winter 2012   

We are working on a new outreach to moms based on research which we have reported on before. According to a study from the University of Wisconsin in 2009 by Dr. Janet Hyde, kids who watch “too much television, (have) low self-esteem, low grades and poor family relationships” are most likely to get involved in early sexual behavior. We hope to give our area moms a boost in confidence and some tools to help their families. We will be giving away tips on nutrition, book lists for kids and teens, information on personal growth, have games, prizes, and more. We are blessed to have a wellness center in Edmeston and are partnering with Born Again Books, Shears 2 You, Preferred Toastmasters and LIFE plus some special guests to present a workshop at that location called “3 Steps to Help Your Family Have a Healthier and Happier 2012” for moms on February 18 from 10 AM - 12 PM.  The program will cover - Discovering yourself- M.O.M. the rock (Model, Organizer, Mentor); Developing yourself- the whole person; and Defeating Deadly Diseases- body, mind, soul, and spirit.

The Brookings Institution study frequently cited by Rick Santorum, tells us that three behaviors will reduce the likelihood of living in poverty by 98%. That is to graduate from high school; not to have children until marriage; and to work. Other studies have shown that it is parents that have the “greatest influence” on their children.  With the poverty level at 15% of the population, it is up to us.

Could Hollywood be opening up to the truth? “The Pregnancy Project” details the daring, true story of a young teen who pretends to be pregnant to highlight the stigma that a teen mom suffers. A recent study by the CDC (Center for Disease Control) found that half the teens that used birth control became pregnant; a third thought that they couldn’t get pregnant; and one in five “didn’t mind” getting pregnant (One of the reasons for The Pregnancy Project” was to highlight the outcomes of teen pregnancies: social outcast, emotional, mental, academic problems etc. to discourage the behavior).

We continue to work with the girls at Circle of Friends at the Burlington Flats Baptist Church.  Our next meeting is February 10. Many thanks to Pastor Jay Henderson, for his continuing help and support.

We will be presenting our “What is Beauty” workshop for girls 8 to 12, in Sherburne at St. Malachy’s Church Hall on March 31.

I am tentatively planning to try for the Moms In Business grant again this year. We came in 2^nd last year and raised $2,000. My endeavors resulted in an interview for their monthly magazine, which may generate some interest in our organization.

We have applied for 2 local grants, as well as assistance from a website class at Binghamton University. We will be hearing from them all in the next few weeks.

Dr. John O’Connell has asked me to make arrangements for his free conference on implementing character development in classrooms and in the schools. As I noted in my last newsletter, his program changed the culture in the school system where he was Superintendent, raising SAT scores dramatically and lowering school disciplinary problems.                                                                                                  Arline Saiki, Director  

NEWS

Tuesday, January 24 - A 16 year old Ravena-Coeymans-Selkirk High School student attempted the sexual assault of a 17 year old girl in the school elevator. Fortunately, another student intervened and was able to rescue the girl. Children are programmed to do what they see and with the constant barrage from tv, movies, and video games of highly sexualized content, not to mention graphic material even being presented in some schools, this incident is hardly surprising. One has to wonder if the boy’s lawyer is going to try to get him off by citing provocative clothing as “inviting” the assault. When I was growing up, that was a common defense and “fashion” nowadays is almost entirely provocative.

November 10, 2011 – University of Maryland news release – psychologist Kurt Gray with researchers from Yale and Northeastern released the results of a study which found that both women and men who wear revealing clothing are thought to be less intelligent, less competent, lacking leadership skills, and as being less morally responsible. In academic and job situations the perception is that such people are incapable of planning and acting and therefore would result in negative evaluations.  This buttresses a 2008 study done at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse which found that 1. First impressions create immediate opinions and beliefs 2. First impressions are long-lasting   3. Provocatively dressed women appear less intelligent than conservatively dressed women. 4. These impressions can positively or negatively affect acceptance in jobs or graduate school. This also echoes

A May 20ll study by Kenyon College in Ohio which found that one third of the clothing being marketed to tweens is sexualized and that girls who chose this kind of clothing were more likely to have “body image problems” and be “perceived as less intelligent” and “less moral.

Late last year the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) announced a drop of 9% in teen pregnancies for 2010. "Progress in reducing teen pregnancy has been nothing short of remarkable -- the teen birth rate has declined a stunning 44% between 1991 and 2010. There have been impressive declines in all 50 states and among all racial/ethnic groups. Not so long ago, teen pregnancy was viewed as intractable and inevitable. This report shows that too early pregnancy and child-bearing are 100% preventable.” Sarah Brown, CEO of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

NOTES from Deborah
Greetings,

The New Year has definitely started out with a "Bang". Every day we are seeing the fruit of the deceptive messages being taught through the media and teachers who are ignorant of the devil's lies. January has been a month of brainstorming and preparation for an all day youth seminar at The Landmark Church called "That's What Love Is". We will be sharing topics such as "My Value", "God's Sacred Creation (Marriage)","God's Way versus Our Way", "Renewal" and much more.

Also I will be attending a girls’ tea party in Greene on February 11th to get to know them before our summer tea party with AEC. At our after-school program in Binghamton, we are sharing relational topics weekly. It is so refreshing to see the youth respond positively to the truth about purity.

Last but not least, Vince and I had the privilege of leading small groups (He with the guys and myself with the girls). We hit on the difficult subjects of homosexuality, crisis pregnancy and idolatry. These teens deserve to know the truth. Their futures depend on it.

Thank you so much for your prayers and support. You are impacting many lives for the best futures.                                                                                                                           God Bless you, Deborah

The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
Volume No. 5                          Issue 16                         Fall 2011   
Newsletter ONLINE

     As we watch the Sandusky/Penn State scandal unfold – we have to wonder why the schools in NYC are implementing a graphic sex-ed curriculum for ages 10 and up. Because I work with children at some churches, I have had to take classes on child protection and the very first thing that a predator does is “soften up” his victim by desensitizing him with porn. In one fell move, the city of NY is doing the prep job for potential abusers. It’s astonishing. Who could be behind such a potentially catastrophic decision? Even closer to home is the introduction of the pornographic, anti-Christian novel, “The Handmaid’s Tale” to the Schenevus high school. Pornography is addictive and leads to violent behavior, not to mention imitation. Recent protests by parents had no effect on the school board. With the introduction of desensitizing materials in the schools today at earlier and earlier ages, I’m afraid that our future news stories will feature more and more sensational scandals.

     Many thanks to Advisory Board member Anne Timmins for coming up from New Jersey to help us at Spiedie Fest. Anne recently won the Hawaii playwriting contest for the second year in a row as well as several other writing fellowships. Rose Hogan of Afton also helped us out again at both the Afton Fair and Spiedie Fest. And Jean Jones was again instrumental in getting the donation for us for our booth at the Afton Fair from Afton Baptist Church. Thanks to all!

     We were invited this year to participate in the Community Volunteer Fair at Binghamton University and were happy to have 10 girls sign up as volunteers. We hope to have them help us with some of our projects there. The Davis College Christmas party was cancelled due to the flooding problems, as they are putting their resources to helping the victims. We hope to have a table there next year.

    We unfortunately lost our contact for the program we were planning in Oneonta, but still hope to do something there soon. We found a great mentoring program for middle school girls which we would love to implement.  We have been invited to do a presentation at St. Malachys’ Church in Sherburne. We are working on the details. We have also been invited to be part of a retreat with the Heritage Girls in Schenevus. It will probably be sometime early next year. We will again participate at the Christmas sale at St. Joseph’s in Schenevus as well.

     We are continuing with Circle of Friends at the Burlington Flats Baptist Church. Sharon De Gristina came up with the brilliant idea of taking the girls at our last meeting to the Veteran’s Day program conducted by the American Legion at Edmeston Central School. The girls whipped up trail mix treats with little prayer cards, listened attentively to the wonderful inspiring speech by Gold star mother Mrs. Mayne and gave out the treats as gifts to the veterans and American Legion members at the event. We are so proud!

     This is an amazingly generous offer of Dr. O’Connell to the schools in this area. In a previous newsletter, I had noted that his efforts as superintendant of schools in implementing this program resulted in a dramatic rise in SAT scores and a corresponding decrease in discipline problems, in just 2 years. Please let me know if you have any contacts in your school system that we could inform.

FUNDRAISER- GHIRARDELLI CHOCOLATE GIFT SETS -20% OFF – You can place your order at Born Again Books or New 2 You in Edmeston, with free local delivery or contact me at the above number or e-mail address, if you are interested. Chocolate orders must be in by 11/26. There are also some “NuCell”  non-toxic shampoo/conditioners and moisturizer for a donation to AEC of 40% to 50% off retail available at Shears 2 You. Many thanks to Debbie Perlmutter and Suzie Carpenter for their help and support. All of the stores are in the same complex, at 20 West St. in Edmeston.

Why is Abstinence important? That is the question that was asked by the Abstinence Clearinghouse of its members this past summer. My response, which was published in their August 30th newsletter, was: Abstinence education is about self-respect, self-control, selflessness, and self-discipline. It is about becoming a productive, mature, successful adult. These qualities are assets in any organization, in any field, in any sport, in any business. They are vital for a stable, solid, prosperous society. On the other hand, insecure, out-of-control, selfish, undisciplined people are a recipe for disaster both in the home, at work, and in the community. Abstinence education is important because it equips our young people with the tools they need to face the many challenges we have in society today. It's not just about avoiding disease, unwanted pregnancies, heartaches or a host of other ills and problems. It's about being a real person with a real life, who grows into an adulthood that is stacked for, instead of against, happiness and success.

I find it difficult to understand why there appear to be people who are against this.

NEWS

     A recent study from University of Maryland psychologist Kurt Gray and colleagues from Yale and Northeastern University published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that both men and women who wore revealing attire were considered less intelligent, less capable and lacking in leadership capabilities. This is one study that should be impressed upon the minds of our young people. Job searches are difficult enough without one strike against you before you even open your mouth.

     Re: the “Occupy” groups, I urge those who think that this is a good thing, to look at the effect it must be having on our young people. Day after day watching angry people causing chaos and disruption with reports of assaults, public nudity and violence is both disturbing and a bad role model. Children imitate what they see. How hypocritical for adults to be telling children to “behave”, while applauding those who don’t.     Arline                 

NOTES from Deborah
Hi everyone,
  I can't believe it is almost Thanksgiving.  What are you thankful for? 
This week has been very eventful.  The Lord has given me a core group of girls to work with at the after-school program I work at on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. Three of them have started coming to our Wednesday night youth group where Vince and I shared "It's Just Sex, Right?".  We had a lot of interaction and are going to continue it in December.
       On Fridays we have been teaching Hollywood's love versus true love.  The teens have learned a lot!  I just came from a small group meeting where a woman shared the pain of soul wounds, generational curses and abuse.  There sure is a lot of pain in this world.  Please pray for Abstinence Education Council to have more open doors to speak and teach the benefit of purity.  Last month I did two 30 minute television shows informing the public about various topics pertaining to relationships, moral values, respect and much more.  We can't thank you enough for believing in this cause and your encouragement, prayers and support.
     May God reward you richly for your faithfulness. In Christ’s love,  Deborah

                             the Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
                                   PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
                       Volume No. 5                                              Issue 15                                             SUMMER 2011

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Many, many thanks for those of you who supported our efforts as one of the 10 semi-finalists in the competition for the Moms In Business/Peerbackers first national crowdfunding grant.  Although ours was the only group to reach our goal of $2000, (we actually went over by $100), we lost to a woman who had 80 contributors and raised nearly $5000 (her goal had been $25,000). Special thanks to Main St. Baptist for being our largest donor at $400 and to St. Mary’s Respect Life Committee, who donated $300. We received donations from $2 to $400 and were very gratified by the nearly 40 people who contributed to this project. We are eligible to compete again next year, so please keep us in mind. The $10,000 prize has been increased to $15,000.
We did get some residual benefits from this endeavor as well. We got several new donors. We received a free year’s membership with Moms In Business and we can sell product on Sears.com for a year (a nearly $500 value). We are presently working on some products.
We presented our new “What is Beauty” program at the New Berlin library on June 11th from 11 to 12:30 PM, and had 9 girls, about half from the Edmeston area and half from New Berlin. We also had 3 adult helpers. We covered self-respect and modesty. The program went very well and we got comments from the girls like "I liked everything", "The workshop taught me that anything is possible if you believe in yourself".  "I liked meeting new people", "I liked making new friends”, “I liked learning how to dress”, “I liked everything so much, I want to write everything down”, and “it was the best day of my life!” (Wow!) We are planning on doing this program, monthly in New Berlin starting in September during the school year and will be starting a similar program with a fashion design student at the Newman Center in Oneonta for teen girls in the fall as well. We have had a few other requests too and are waiting to hear back from them. We have also been doing a summer program once a week in Johnson City, with gratifying response.
We’ve also been at several events, at the Spirit Fest in Coventry and Impact in Windsor, as well as Village of the Vine’s Sunday worship in Edmeston, where set up an information table. Our affiliate band “Treasure” also played for the first time at the Edmeston venue. (They were very well received and were invited back for next year and also to one of the local churches to play). We have a few more events coming up, including “Treasure” in Coventry on August 13th from 4 – 7 PM (please contact us for directions).

We are presently at the Otsego County Fair in Morris, please drop by our booth under the grandstand. We couldn’t man it this year, which is unfortunate, but we have people checking in on it and it is getting traffic. Also, I was there yesterday and spoke with a woman who is in the Gilbertsville school district (a school that we have been trying to get into) and she is determined to get us in there. We are also doing the Spiedie Fest again this year, which is a huge event.

SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY! 3rd-12th grade teachers – We found an amazing opportunity for a free $3000 program to improve your student's skills.  I have an e-mail address dedicated to this information on an auto-reply. If you know anyone who would be interested, please contact the Abstinence Education Council, at eb@aec-idecide.org. Academic achievement is one of the primary protective factors in a child’s life (it ranks up there with parental involvement and religious affiliation).

The one day conference we attended, at SUNY Cortland’ s Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility) with  John O'Connell, Ed.D. Effective School Development ("Leadership by Design" Seminars), was fabulous, as have been all the conferences I have attended there. Mr. O’Connell was superintendent of schools in a Pennsylvania district which included many low performing inner city schools. His program which is character based, turned the school system around in just 2 years with SAT scores increasing an average of 30% and behavior problems decreasing about 27%. He is very interested in spreading this program and is available to speak for just his expenses. We were also given notebooks which we can share and I will be sending out a bi-monthly (twice a month) e-blast to anyone who wishes to have this information. We know how busy you all are, so we are sending this out in bite size pieces. Please let me know if you would like to be on the e-blast.

The secretary for Women Aglow keeps us updated on various happenings in Central NY and invited Deborah and I to a presentation with Sistertime Ministries on human trafficking with George Phillips, at Arrowhead bookstore. Mr. Phillips worked for Representative Chris Smith for many years, right out of college and recently moved back to his hometown of Binghamton, where he teaches at Broome College and Seton Catholic High School. He is also dean of discipline. Rep. Smith was instrumental in getting legislation passed to try to deal with the problem of human trafficking (which is mostly sexual slavery). 20,000 people are trafficked into the U.S. yearly. Many, many thousands more are trafficked within states and used in massage parlors, strip clubs, lap dance clubs, and “gentlemen’s clubs” or in brothels or in the porn industry. Some are used for hard labor. Many are runaways and kidnap victims, few are really voluntarily in this life. The customers are about 88% of men, which means they are your uncle, your brother, your neighbor. Newsweek happened to have an article about the pervasiveness of this problem in its July 25th issue. It pointed out how the “digital age has spawned an enormous increase in sexual exploitation”. According to Norma Ramos, executive director of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW), “The more the commercial sex industry normalizes this behavior, the more of this behavior you get”. One problem that Mr. Phillips pointed out is that this kind of crime generally falls below the radar of local police and unless the person is trafficked across states, the FBI doesn’t get involved. Both the talk and the article went into horrific details, and the bottom line is that our country is heavily into the degradation of and violence against women. One problem brought up at this presentation was the clothing (or lack of) in fashion today.  Studies have found that skimpily dressed women are targets.
WARNING:  Planned Parenthood is lobbying the U.N. to institute a child’s rights policy. “Exclaim! Young People’s Guide to Sexual Rights,” asks for the “removal of parental involvement or spousal consent laws that prevent young people from seeking sexual and reproductive health services.” at ANY age.
I recently attended a program about funding sponsored by the Community Foundation and learned that “for every 1% decrease in teen pregnancies, there is a correlating increase of 4% in the local economy.”  Those are important statistics to bring to our community.

NOTES from Deborah
Greetings,
My husband, Vince & I have had a very busy summer.  People are seeing the need more and more for addressing relationships, character and healthy living.  Arline and I have been diligently working on Wednesdays with our 'I Decide' summer program presenting to middle school youth in Johnson City.  Vince and I have been sharing with girl and boy small groups at our church and we also are teaching teens about the differences between love and lust at our Friday summer program.  They have been very receptive and are learning how to respect themselves and others.
    Our band "Treasure" has had several open doors and most of these places have graciously allowed us to present our cause and set up an information table.  Please look for us at the Afton & Otsego Fairs.  "Treasure" is playing Saturday, August 6th at the Spiedie Fest Hope Tent and there will be an AEC table Friday evening at their youth event and Saturday for all ages, and possibly on Sunday.  We desire to do all that we can to reach as many people as possible with the truth.  The lies they have believed can steal away many precious years of their life.
     Please know that your prayers and other support have been deeply appreciated.
God bless you, Deborah

                                                                    The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
                                   PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
                       Volume No. 5                                              Issue 14                                             Spring 2011

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Sorry this issue is late. We have been working on a lot of projects recently and have some exciting news. As I wrote in the message box in our e-mail, we are delighted to announce that we are one of 10 semi-finalists in the Moms In Business/Peerbackers first national crowdfunding grant competition.  If you have ever considered donating to us or have donated to us in the past but not recently, this would be the perfect time to do so. Any amount will be appreciated. If we make 80% of our goal of $2000, we will be eligible not only for the grand prize of $10,000 but up to $1000 in matching funds. This is an amazing opportunity for us and we hope that you can help. The competition runs about a month. Go to www.Peerbackers.com and search for Abstinence Education Council. We will be sending out reminders again in a couple of weeks. Thank you for your consideration. Also, we were again recipients of a $250 grant from Stewart’s Shops Foundation. The extra funds will come in handy for the extended project which we are planning for the summer in Unadilla. This project was postponed because of the forthcoming wedding of Sara Knowlton (congratulations Sara!), who will be working with us on this project for girls 10 and up. Although we will be doing this in Unadilla, probably beginning in July, we are actually kicking off the program (What is Beauty”) at the New Berlin library on June 11th from 11 to 12:30 PM, with our Circle of Friends’ girls from Edmeston, but all girls in the area are invited. This particular program will be specifically for girls ages 8 to 12. (flyer also attached). It will be about beauty inside and out, physically, mentally and spiritually and will be loosely based on Sean Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens”. We need to give our young people the tools they need to protect themselves from our rapidly deteriorating culture. We have been frustrated with restrictions in terms of time, topics and content in the requests that we receive for presentations, so we have decided to be pro-active and present our programs ourselves. Libraries are a great resource. We are planning on doing this program with the help of the Newman Center in Oneonta in the fall as well and will be announcing a couple of other places soon. This program will run a total of 9 sessions, so we would be grateful for any additional help. Please contact me if you are interested and available to help at any of these places.

We are delighted to announce the addition of 3 new volunteers for our work: Michelle Turner, who will be helping us with research and with communications, holds a B.S. in psychology (child and adolescent development) and is graduating in June with a Masters in Health Science. Michelle is a military wife, so will be moving frequently and will be a virtual assistant. Jonas Pfleegor, will be our webmaster for the new AEC-I Decide website. Jonas is also working “virtually”, he is presently volunteering in Lima, Peru, teaching English and Science.  And finally, we welcome Ryan Perry, who is a student in computer science and math at SUCO and a wonderful singer. Ryan is going to help us revive our story telling program.

Latency and the Problem with Early Sex Ed (latency is approximately the period of development between 5 and puberty) – According to Melvin Anchell, M.D., A.S.P.P. in his 1985 treatise  "A Psychoanalytic Look at Today’s Sex Education,":

“…there are many cultural and personal achievements attained through the redirection of sexual energies during latency, but the most important achievement of all is the development of the capacity for compassion. It is this ability to feel compassion that truly separates man from all other creatures.

     The second most important achievement resulting from the redirection of sexual energies during latency is the strengthening of mental barriers that control perverse sexual impulses … These mental barriers are inborn and are present at birth. However, to be effective in later life, they must be strengthened during latency.

… The sex teachings given to the 6- to 12-year-old students keep sexual impulses stirred up, disrupting sexual growth, as well as personal and cultural achievements.”

     A partial summary of adverse effects due to the sex educators' interferences during latency is that they: 1) Make the 6- to 12-year-old student less educable; 2) can block the development of compassion; 3) weaken the mental barriers controlling base sexual instincts, thereby making the child vulnerable to perversions in later life.”

Basically early introduction to human sexuality courses badly impacts academic performance, self-discipline, achievement, and the ability to have compassion. All of which is increasingly reflected in our young people today.

QUICK NOTES

Thanks to the Knights of Columbus and St. Mary’s Respect Life Committee  - for allowing us to have our Flower Power Fundraising at their Lenten Fish Fry. We raised $75. 

There are several Christian films out right now.  I hope that you will support them. Soul Surfer is the inspiring story of Bethany Hamilton (suggested for ages 15 and up) who returns to surfing after a shark attack; There Be Dragons, a powerful story of war, tragedy, love and redemption and last, but not least, Utica native John Martoccia’s film Vito Bonafacci, which received quite a decent review in the NY Times. I saw the film and it was very interesting and well done for a first attempt. It’s about a man who suddenly wakes up to his mortality and starts to look for answers about life.

Recommended Reading: “The Reading Promise” by Alice Ozma – a first book from a young author, who bonded with her father through a promise of reading daily with him.“A warm memoir and a gentle nudge to parents about the importance of books, quality time and reading to children." - Kirkus Reviews 

“Romance, God’s Way “ by Leslie and Eric Ludy–  “Discover the seven Biblical principles for divorce-proofing your future! This romantic, humorous, yet extremely challenging book is strategically designed for young adults to gain a vision of a love story built by God!”

 FREE CONFERENCE – We have space for 2 teachers to join our team for a one day conference at SUNY Cortland’ s Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility) with John O'Connell, Ed.D. Effective School Development ("Leadership by Design" Seminars) the session is about how to make things happen to create a safe culture on a school-wide/whole-school basis given the demands on staff time, energy, and focus in the day-to-day life of the schools with central emphasis on Respect and Responsibility. The conference will be on June 30th. Please contact me as soon as possible if you would like to attend. We can carpool.

We continue to work with Women Aglow and their outreach at SUNY Binghamton and look forward to resuming in the Fall.

OTHER SUMMER PLANS:  Booths at the Afton and Otsego County Fairs and Spiedie Fest – The theme this year will be “True love means self-sacrifice for the good of another”.

NOTES from Deborah

Greetings,

     I have struggled this week to know what to share with you, because I could easily get caught up in all of the negative things happening in our world.  While seeking God in prayer, He reminded me that He has already won the battle.  No matter how much the devil tries to get us to dwell on what he is doing, he is not greater than our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

     Would you please join AEC in reminding others that the devil is a defeated foe and a lion with no teeth. 

     How do we overcome his attempts to steal, kill and destroy?  We do what God says to do.  First, pray without ceasing; Talk to God about everything.  Read the Bible daily; It is our standard for life.  After all, it is written by our Creator.

     Whenever it feels like God is condemning you, you are believing a lie.  God will lovingly tell you when you are on a track that can harm you, but He is not out to kill your joy.  He wants to protect you.  God is love.  He cares about every detail of your life because He wants a relationship with you.

     God can't lie so He is never wrong.  We need to trust Him in everything and choose thankfulness because He will never leave us or forsake us.

     I had the special privilege of taping two presentations for television to be aired on a Time-Warner cable-access Channel 4 program.  The first one was about 'relationships' and the other was 'why Jesus shed His blood for us'.  Our band "Treasure" filmed with us, which includes my husband, Vince who is on the AEC board.  We are hoping to put this broadcast on our website.

     My prayer is that all will accept His love and follow His ways which give hope and a future filled with abundance and joy.

Thanks for your support!   God bless you, Deborah 

                                                                          The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
                                   PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
                       Volume No. 5                                              Issue 13                                             Winter 2011

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Thanks to all of you who have helped us this past year. We certainly couldn’t do anything without you. We got a few new donors and a few new volunteers and we are of course grateful as always to our base.

As I mentioned in my last newsletter, I was deeply disturbed to read a column in the newspaper of the college that my daughter graduated from, written by a young man (apparently 19), who has had multiple meaningless physical relationships, sometimes wondering why, but always coming back to his bi-sexual girlfriend of 8 years, who is always available for him. I wrote a letter to the newspaper and the editor (not so graciously, he accused me of attempted censorship) asked me to expand it into column length and printed it in December. Following is my letter (I took out the name of the school as I didn’t want to embarrass them, although since they have this as a regular column with multiple contributors, I guess I can presume that it wouldn’t.)

Dear Editor:

I am the parent of an alumnus. Several weeks ago, I happened to stop by the ----- Inn, pick up a copy of the -------News, and find the column “Minus the City”.  I was deeply saddened. In my work with high-risk kids, I read a lot of studies about where this kind of behavior comes from and it is primarily because of too much media, too little parenting and/or addictions to alcohol, drugs and/or pornography.  The American culture has become a deadly concoction for far too many people and we are seeing the results in headline after headline of scandals which are destroying families, homes, careers and businesses. We are also witnesses to such horrors as the one that was on the news today of the disappearance of the college-age niece of a friend of mine in Syracuse. Is this really what ---------students want for their futures?

I happened to catch a documentary on the making of the Harry Potter film series the other day. It was quite interesting. A clip from one of the films illustrated what is apparently the core of the entire Harry Potter story.  The evil Lord Voldemort is trying to destroy his nemesis Harry Potter. Why does he hate him so much?  Apparently, he hates Harry because he epitomizes the foolishness of “true friendship and (real) love”.  The Harry Potter saga is hardly what one could label great literature, but it does contain elements of what constitutes every great story – universal truths. Harry is the hero of this story because he is loyal, brave, true, and willing to sacrifice himself for his friends. He understands real love. People in every culture and in every age recognize and admire those qualities as being heroic.

“Minus the City” unfortunately, seems to be trying to glorify the exact opposite of heroic behavior. One has to wonder, why is it in the -------- News?  Is it a good reflection on an elite college?  Is this a glimpse into the lives of typical -------- students? Will it inspire confidence in future employers, customers, consumers or patrons? 

We live in an era of instant communications and increasing concern about uncontrolled, undisciplined behavior because of the far-reaching, deleterious consequences. In the real world, we have witnessed the toppling of even such icons as Tiger Woods, Al Gore, John Edwards, and Chris Brown, essentially for the kind of behavior you immortalize on the Internet and in print, in “Minus the City”. 

 “Sex and the City” is a fable created to line the pockets of jaded moguls.  To try to imitate it is neither practical nor wise and to broadcast such behavior? ----------- students, parents, faculty, administration and alums should be the judges.

It is interesting to note that when we parents get letters about the "---------Fundraiser", or from the Parents Fund, or copies of "The ----------- Scene" that we never, ever hear about the "extracurriculars" being touted on campus. I wonder why? College is a breath away from being in the workplace. -------------- is supposed to be grooming future leaders. Should this not be causing someone out there some concern? People who speak so callously about other human beings are not funny and there is little hope that they will mature into thoughtful, responsible adults either. 
             Teachers are getting fired for holding a drink in their hands in a picture on Facebook. Employers are turning more and more to the Internet to vet their prospective employees. “Minus the City” may be a "popular" column, but aren't some of these people shooting themselves in their respective feet? I'm presuming that besides going into the marketplace, some of these people will also be going on to advanced degrees and be applying for grants etc. If I were on a selection committee, I would not be impressed.

90% of all cohabiting adults break up.  72% of all African-American children are born out-of-wedlock. Children raised in single parent homes are more likely to live in poverty, and have physical, mental, emotional and academic problems. Multiple intimate partners are the reason for the STD/STI epidemic that is sweeping the nation. 25% of all adults by the age of 25 had or have a sexually-transmitted disease, many of which are symptomless, some of which can be transmitted to unborn children. Many of these diseases are incurable. They cause cancers, HIV/AIDS, herpes, infertility etc. 1 out of every 10 couples is now infertile. More than 40% of all college women have abortions. Abortions raise the risk of breast cancer by 193%, increase the likelihood of premature birth for future children and can cause infertility. Birth control pills, which are mostly estrogen-based, are carcinogenic according to the World Health Organization and have been implicated in complications such as stroke, pulmonary embolism, and heart attacks. These are only some of the physical consequences. There are many mental and emotional consequences as well, not the least of which is in men who have multiple intimate partners. They suffer a gradual destruction of the male bonding mechanism, resulting in the inability to form an attachment to anyone.

There are a lot of people making a lot of money in promoting a profligate lifestyle to the American public, targeting ever younger and younger “customers”. They even use the public school system to reach kindergartners, knowing very well, that the earlier you reach people, the easier it is to brainwash them. But, at least at the moment, we have the ability to make our own choices in life. Those choices will be the basis of our futures as well as that of America. Hopefully, -------------- students will at least take into consideration where some of their present decisions may be leading them.                                                                          Arline Saiki

Comment: It is very disturbing, that the sexual assault and murder of a 2 year old girl by a 13 year old teen boy in the Utica area last year, (see above letter for possible root causes), did not even cause a blip on the national radar. Has this kind of behavior become so commonplace that it is not even worth noting?  .       

QUICK NOTES

We had to postpone our program at the Newman Center, which was tentatively set for January as we will be doing the program with Jean Naples of CNY Coalition for Life and she was not available at the time.

We are in the process of creating an extended program for girls in the Unadilla area with Sara Knowlton of Youth for Christ which we hope to start in about a month. The program will cover self respect, clothing, goal setting, communications, relationships and life skills. We are happy and excited to work with Sara again.

We are also planning a program for the Zero Gravity teens in Edmeston. More info to come.

Highly Recommended Reading for Families – ”Mr. Sunday’s Soups” by Lorraine Wallace– great recipes for soup and for raising healthy, happy families!

Warning! The film “No Strings Attached” continues to promote the destructive fantasy that committed relationships can come out of casual hook-ups. We need only look at the failed marriages of celebrities.

NOTES from Deborah

Hi Everyone!

   Can you believe it's 2011? I hope your holidays went well.  On December 10th, Abstinence Education Council gave out over 2000 goodies and business cards to local churches who participated in the Andrews Good News Christmas Party at Davis College (extras were sent to local youth groups).  Over 2100 people from the community attended and several youth wanted prayer.  Vince and I counciled and our band "Treasure" played some songs in the Cafe.  We are praying that this year they will allow us to set up an information table for their teen event. 
   With all of the uncensored media our youth are being exposed to, we need to combat it with the truth.    Many are getting sexually involved at earlier ages because of the stimulus this causes.  The most recent information is as early as 10 years old.  We must protect our children.
     Thank you so much for your continued support.  We truly are in a battle between good and evil; life and death.  We couldn't do this without you.
    God bless you for caring and sharing on behalf of our future generations.       Deborah Ferraccioli

                                                                 The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S
                                   PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org
                       Volume No. 4                                              Issue 12                                             Fall 2010

AEC- I Decide -Newsletter ONLINE

"It is quite sad and disturbing that children are exposed to early mental and health problems due to risky behaviors. Sex is not for children and adolescents, simple as that. All kinds of unhappy and destructive consequences appear, seriously compromising their quality of life. Young people want stable, satisfying relationships, with physical and mental health along with a decent standard of life- they want material and psychological security. These kinds of behaviors are taking them in the opposite direction. Where are the parents? The responsible adults? Don't we know better?" ~ Dr. Liliana Trivelli – pathologist, hematologist – Brooklyn, NY

One of the very frustrating things about abstinence education is that we are finding many adults who do not seem to appreciate the above self-evident facts. Children need to have guidance, not simply be abandoned to poor choices based on immaturity.  The sad thing is that it is our children and society that will suffer a lifetime of consequences. By the age of 25, a quarter of our young people will have or have had a sexually transmitted disease or infection. We are in the middle of an epidemic which can result in cancers, infertility, depression, suicide, and more. This epidemic has an enormous price tag in terms of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, as well as hard cash. The amazing thing is that it is eminently preventable.

A paper published in October 2008 in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence written by Myeshia N. Price and Janet Shibley Hyde reported on their findings of factors which affect the early introduction of teens to sex. One of the primary risk factors was television viewing. According to Hyde "As we watch a lot of material like that, we come to believe that it is reality. In this case, kids who watch a lot of TV come to believe that all the kids really are having sex, so they're going to do it too or they are going to be the odd one out,"  Dr. Hyde also pointed out that TV does not show the negative consequences of sex, such as pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases. Both boys and girls who engaged in early sex (before age 15) had low self-esteem and poor relationships with their parents, as well as signs of ADD/ADHD. Girls were often living with single moms or step-parents and were low achievers in school.  Boys were further into puberty and were also likely to exhibit “oppositional defiant disorder” symptoms.

"If you add up all the factors, you get a much more powerful predictor of who has sex and who doesn't.  One thing probably by itself is not going to do it, but by the time you get two or three risk factors, things start to go downhill," said Dr. Janet Hyde, (University of Wisconsin), who headed the research team.
            As per our previous newsletter – We are trying to address the issue of low self-esteem (although I prefer the idea of self-respect) by introducing Dove’s Self Esteem Workshop for girls ages 12 – 15. The program is a lot of fun and has videos that show how women in the media are manufactured or enhanced by makeup and electronic tricks. We are pairing it with some healthy beauty tips and an exercise on how clothing affects people’s perception of you. We are looking for girls in that age range for a focus group. The program is two hours and we will have prizes. If you know anyone that is interested, they can send an S.A.S.E. (self-addressed stamped envelope) to the above address, letting us know what area they live in and we will send them information on workshops they can attend. We hope to hold several throughout this year.

            We started up again helping with Circle of Friends at the Burlington Flats Baptist Church in September. The girls are great and Sharon DeGristina continues to offer a program which is so helpful for their mental, physical and spiritual health, and which are essential protective factors.
           Suzie Carpenter and Pastor Henderson invited a few of us to attend a CareNet banquet in Utica a few weeks ago and Pastor Henderson introduced me to several people including a couple of other pastors. It was great to hear that CareNet’s abstinence program is also based on character education.
            We continue to participate in Women Aglow’s outreach on the Binghamton SUNY campus. It is wonderful to have this access to college kids.
             We are participating in the Andrew’s Good News Christmas Party at Davis College this year and had to pull together something affordable to put into 3,000 goodie bags!  We came up with putting our new business card in attached to a white (individually packaged) Lifesaver. Our business card has our new motto on it “The Choices You Make Today Will Decide Your Tomorrow” and other thoughts to ponder.

We seem to be on hold with our program at the Newman Center at SUCO. I hope to have more information for you next time. The college campuses are certainly an important place for us to be. I happened to pick up the newspaper from the college from which my daughter graduated (glad I didn’t see this when she was there!). Apparently, they have a regular column on “hooking up”. This one was written by a young man who was waxing nostalgic about the girl he has been using off and on since about age 11. Every once in a while now, he wonders if all this debauchery is worth it “like you wake up in the morning and you look over to whoever is next to you and think, Well that was fine I guess. So … when are they going to leave?", but he can always go back to Jill, (who is also unfaithful, but usually with girls) and they have an understanding, so it’s okay.  Statistically, they both have or had a sexually transmitted disease or illness; they are ripe candidates for cancers; they may be infertile; they probably have participated in an abortion or two or more (since they were “doing it” frequently, sometimes daily); and he is no longer ABLE to have a normal emotional relationship with anyone because he has physically destroyed his ability to bond with another human being (due to vasopressin -male bonding chemical). All this, and he is just in the last of his teen years.  Will he have any regrets a few years down the road, say about 25 years of age, when his decision making skills finally reach maturity? Or maybe somewhere further down the line after his 3^rd or 4^th divorce, with half his children in juvenile court?  This is not what I want for my children, I would hope that it’s not what others are intending for theirs.           Arline Saiki,
NEWS:  In April of this year, India suspended the vaccine Gardasil because of 4 deaths and 120 adverse reactions linked to it. In the US, there have been 17781 adverse reactions (epilepsy, paralysis,etc.) and 66 deaths reported to VAERS in the last 4 years. Gardasil continues to be heavily marketed in this country despite the fact that one of its developers Dr. Diana Harper has publicly warned that ALL of the HPV strains can potentially cause cancer. Gardasil protects against 3. HPV is a very contagious STD and condoms don’t protect against it.
NOTES from Deborah
     Summer as usual has flown by.  Our band "Treasure" is getting more and more opportunities to share the message of purity.  The most recent being Vince (my husband) and I running a coffee house every first Friday of each month.
      Vince and I are also leading small youth groups.  We have been teaching his group of guys and my group of girls topics such as healthy relationships, self esteem, and the difference between how girls and guys view the same subject.  They have really been loving it!
     At an after school program on Mondays and Wednesdays, we view age appropriate movies and ask questions which draw out the 8th to 12th graders opinions and beliefs pertaining to team work, respect, deception, etc. etc.
     On Friday afternoons, Vince and I have been sharing the importance of morals, good character and how to be equipped for the battles we face in life.
     Our Sunday group is reaching out to children who have a parent in jail.  We work to motivate them and to show them that they have great potential to succeed.
     Everyone deals with trials in their life.  Our teens are our future.  Unless they are secluding themselves completely from society, they are going to have to learn how to socialize.  Too many are depending on a screen to teach them and also to hide behind.  Please join us in our endeavors to make a positive difference in the lives of so many who desperately need a lifestyle of purity, integrity, and truth.
    We are very thankful for your prayers and support that you give us.  God bless you and have a Happy Thanksgiving.                                                                                      Love always, Deborah Ferraccioli

Reminder: You can help us out simply by searching on the internet (and sometimes making some purchases). Make www.goodsearch.com your homepage, choose the Abstinence Education Council as your charity and for every search you make, we get a penny. Any donations can be sent to the above address. Thanks so much!

ALSO – we will be at St. Joseph’s Church, 205 Main, Worcester, at their December 18 bake sale with a variety of things including our Bee Pure raw honey, discounted jewelry and leather belts and books. Please come!

The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S

PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org

Volume No. 4                                              Issue 11                                             Summer 2010

AEC- I Decide -Newsletter ONLINE

My apologies, for being late with the summer newsletter. As you know, we are very understaffed and members of my family had some serious health issues this year which kept me busier than usual, I would appreciate your prayers.

This issue has many announcements. For the past several years, we have been working on the idea of using a new name for the Abstinence Education Council (at the original suggestion of one of my daughters and Dr. Phillip Mango, psychotherapist, who is on our advisory board). We have decided to use the “trade name” AEC-I Decide, as above and have registered it as a DBA (doing business as) in NY.  Our slogan is “The choices you make Today will DECIDE your Tomorrow”. This kept us very busy at the beginning of the summer as we wanted to roll everything out for the fairs in July and August, with new business cards, new signs and a new website. (Please note we also have a new e-mail address, as above).  We are keeping the old one as well, but we wanted something that would express some of the new things we are trying to do which is gearing more toward encouraging good character, goal setting, and learning life skills for a healthy, happy, successful future, all of which discourages ALL high risk behaviors, as well as positively impacting the likelihood of abstinence. Please take a look at our website www.aec-idecide.org. It’s still a “work in progress” (I still keep finding grammatical mistakes!), so let me know if you catch something. Also, I haven’t finished putting in all the citations yet. We had been trying to find someone to do the website literally for years and were spurred by the sudden discovery that our old website had lapsed (it has since been revived). So, in desperation, I did it myself, using a free website builder called “Yola”. I now feel totally prepared to teach a course on “If I can build a free website, anyone can!” I did get some help from my husband, who is a graphic designer (but not a website designer). He doesn’t really do this kind of design, but he had some invaluable tips for me.

We tried a fundraiser this spring which went quite well. We earned over $500 in a kind of “test run”, where we sent out appeals to a small group. The products are great. We decided to do it again for the fall. If anyone would like to buy fall bulbs, this is our link:  http://www.flowerpowerfundraising.com/campaign?campaign_id=3250. Thank you for any help that you can give us.

You can also help us out simply by searching on the internet (and sometimes making some purchases). Make www.goodsearch.com your homepage, choose the Abstinence Education Council as your charity and for every search you make, we get a penny. It adds up.

We had a presence at 3 fairs this summer, the Afton Fair, the Otsego County Fair and for the first time, the Spiedie Fest. In Afton, we had the booth next to Afton Right to Life (with the theme “Worth Waiting For” and both booths were paid for by Afton Baptist Church (thanks so much!). Rain drove many people indoors and we did a banner job of speaking to people and giving away material. The purity rings went like hotcakes, as did the bookmarks promoting purity and lots of people took Dr. Laura’s “Is it Love?” test.  Jean Jones and Rose Hogan were the mainstays for the booths and did a great job as usual. We got many positive reactions from people. Our section of the booth used the themes of Prince/Princess or Wolf/She-Wolf using magazine photos of famous people and our new slogan, for which we got several favorable comments.

We had a 5 question Reality quiz for 15 and up, with cold “Pure Life Splash” as a prize at the Otsego Fair. We ended up giving the prize just for taking the quiz because no one knew all the answers, but the dialogue we had with people was fantastic (and a lot of people wanted the prize!).  People were really surprised at the potential consequences of not being abstinent. They had no idea, for example, that cancer can be an outcome of sexually-transmitted diseases, as well as condom failure, birth control pills and abortions. We are so much more effective when we can man the booth. We had a few new people this year, but as always, if we could get more volunteers, it would be great. For the little kids, we told them to show us who on the Prince/Princess poster were famous for wearing Purity Rings, and gave out “Worth the Wait” lollipops and pencils with “Purity Rocks”. Deborah and Vince took care of Spiedie Fest and they had a lot of traffic. Spiedie Fest is huge. We paid $200 for a 5 hour period for Saturday, but the Hope tent kindly gave us another session on Sunday for free. Spiedie Fest is definitely worth the cost and the effort and we plan to do it again next year. We also gave the Reality quiz and the purity ring question and we got great feedback, for which we were very gratified. Unfortunately, we didn’t make the Chenango Fair this year, as we weren’t able to get the info to register that we needed, but it was probably better because we were pretty swamped. Hopefully we can make it next year. A couple of people suggested that we try for the Walton fair, but it is apparently very hard to get into. If anyone has access to space near the fair and we could set up a table there for next year we would appreciate it.
We have some new initiatives this year.  Dove, the soap company, has developed a wonderful self-esteem program for girls, ages 12 – 15 which are going to implement in this area. We are adding an extra component of self-respect and modesty to the basic 90 minute workshop. We are also offering an option to have a 60-90 minute healthy makeover component as well. Rev. Acanfora with Christchurch in Gilbertsville has gotten us an invitation for the workshop at the Gilbertsville school and we plan to offer it in Burlington Flats to the girls in the Circle of Friends program (which starts up again this month!). We are hoping to apply for a grant to do this program in both Otsego and Chenango counties and I am working on the proposal now. Please contact us if you would like us to bring this program to your organization.

Newman Center which serves both SUCO and Hartwick college has asked us to do a program on “How to Help Your Friend Avoid Hookup Hangover”. We hope to do that this month as well, but we are getting off to a slow start this year, so it may be another month.  Many thanks for your continued support. Arline Saiki, Director

NEWS

This past June 29, Academy award-winner Geena Davis warned the U. N. that the "hypersexualization of women" in the media is a major factor in negative attitudes and violence toward women. Even young children are being indoctrinated into the "idea that girls hold a lesser position in our society, that they’re less important.." through images on TV and in movies. Ms. Davis has formed the Geena Davis Institute, a non-profit to raise awareness of this problem and to try to start raising the standards of the way women are portrayed in the media.
http://secint24.un.org/apps/news/story.asp?NewsID=35188&Cr=ecosoc&Cr1=

This reinforces the importance of studies such as the Nov. 2008 report by RAND Research which “found that children who watched programs with "high levels of sexual content" were almost twice as likely to become pregnant as kids with limited exposure to such shows.” The study, which was released in the journal Pediatrics, was said to be the first to establish the link between teen pregnancies and explicit programming.

The U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services was pressured into finally releasing their full February 26, 2009 report National Survey of Adolescents and Their Parents: Attitudes And Opinions About Sex and Abstinence, with the following findings - “One thousand students and an involved parent of each were questioned concerning parent and peer influence and communication on teen sexual behavior, revealing 70% of parents and 60% of teens supporting pre-marital abstinence.  “http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/content/docs/20090226_abstinence.pdf

Youth communicator Kendra White in her premier video with Pure and Holy Passion, describes the excitement of the firsts in our lives.  “Nothing can take the place of that first airplane ride, day of school, kiss, or "I love you," but Kendra reminds us that even if we spend our firsts foolishly, they can be redeemed by how we choose what is most important in our lives now.” http://action.afa.net/blogs/VideoBlogPost.aspx?id=2147493090

RED FLAG!!! -  In Miley Cyrus’s new film “Laugh Out Loud”, she reportedly plays a teenage girl who "has sex, engages in a lesbian kiss and smokes pot."  How terrible that our culture exploits a 17 year old like this.

NOTES from Deborah
Hi Everyone,
        Our wonderful Savior continues to bless us!  Vince and I had another opportunity to share on two consecutive TV programs about Abstinence Education Council.  The Lord laid it on my heart to say, He (God) is pro-choice.  From the beginning He gave us one choice to choose from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and receive death or to choose from the tree of life.  What it comes down to is “Are we going to trust and obey God or are we going to be our own god?  His plan is always the best.  Our website www.aec-idecide.org says it all.  Our decisions do affect our future.
      We have had table set ups in various areas where we have shared throughout the day about our mission to reach as many for purity as possible.
      We were at the Spiedie Fest Hope Tent in Binghamton, with a table there from 2:30 to 7:30 PM on Saturday the 7^th of August, and our band “Treasure” played Sunday August 8^th around 1:20 PM.
       Please keep all of us in your prayers and thank you for your support.              God bless you, Deborah

The Abstinence Education Council – C O M M E N T S

PO Box G, West Oneonta, NY 13861 – 607/433-1730 – info@aec-idecide.org

Volume No. 4                                              Issue 10                                             Spring 2010

AEC- I Decide -Newsletter ONLINE